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CL1981
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# Posted: 3 Jun 2008 18:31
Hi,
I'm having some difficulties with my mother. I am currently due on June 15th with my first baby. Me and my husband have decided to leave the gender a surprise.
My Mother says nobody has baby showers before the baby is born anymore, that that's "old fashioned" and we should wait until after the baby is born. Now, most of my family agree with her on that.
Unfortunately, she thinks we should wait until September to have a baby shower! She says that nobody will attend a baby shower in the months of July and August so it has to be September. I mentioned having it right after the baby, maybe late June. She's saying that I'll "need time to recover and won't want to have a baby shower."
I just think waiting until September is too long. I always thought the purpose of a baby shower was to get gifts from friends and family to help with the initial costs of having a baby. If we wait 3 months we'll have already bought all the necessities by then. I mentioned this to my Mom and she said I can ask for diapers, clothing, toys and formula (I've repeatedly told her I'm breastfeeding but she keeps saying I might not be able to).
She's driving me crazy, and I would plan a shower myself except me and my husband are basically living paycheque to paycheque.
Has anyone else run into this situation? Is this a completely crazy idea from my mother?
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Jonah08
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# Posted: 14 Jun 2008 19:57
Well what I am doing is I am having the usual prebaby baby shower for like my friends and some family. Then After the baby on grandparents day (sept. 7) I am hosting a grandparents shower for the baby. All my family that happen to be grandparents and just really close to me are going to come and meet my little man. So you can have both to satify both of you guys. It really works out because the grandparents shower is more sophisticated and its more reserved. No games and all that...its all about the baby as opposed to all about me. So think of something that can satify both of you guys.
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beth
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# Posted: 26 Jun 2008 17:07
honey...ask a girlfriend to host a shower for you...register wherever you want to and do what you want to do. you may have already had your baby now...the purpose of the shower is to help the parents in preparing for the arrival of the baby...
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ADGMCT
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# Posted: 1 Jul 2008 21:00
I am having a similar issue which is how I ended up on the blog to begin with! Whereas I have been fortunate enough to have a traditional baby shower, I have an aunt who lives 4 hours away who wants to throw me a shower 2-3 months after my baby is born. I am due Sept. 7th so that puts having a shower right around the holidays, which is crazy! Plus, I (the new mommy) would have to be the one to travel! Uh, no! I agree with "Beth". Ask a girlfriend to host a shower for you OR I have actually heard of something called a "silent shower". I think you register somewhere and then let everyone know that you are registered...set up a date and time like a regular shower where people can come by, say hi, give a gift and leave! Doesn't sound like your Mom is being very flexible so take care of this yourself. Baby showers are to help you get ready for a baby and everyone knows that.
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TL0210
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# Posted: 19 Aug 2008 18:27
My daughter id due Feb 10 2009 and I'm giving the shower. I don't want to have the shower in Dec due to Holidays or January because everyone is recovering from said Holidays. However, I think October or November is too soon. I was taught it was tacky to have it before the mother is at least 6mths along.
I would really like some feedback!
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barbraann
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# Posted: 19 Aug 2008 23:53
I don't think it is the least bit tacky to have a Baby Shower early. My daughter is due in Jan. and I am having her shower in Oct. She is in the Army and I have to plan around her availability. We are not in the same states and she was told she will not be allowed to travel past Oct. There is no way she could afford to buy all her own baby things so I say having the shower early is the best thing.
Also to get party decorations...I am great at saving all my decor to exchange with friends. There is a web site called freecycle.com that may be in your area. People ask for things they need and people post what they have to give away. It's a great place to give & get things. Also you could post on Craigslist.com
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ChaCha
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# Posted: 28 Sep 2008 08:13
I am hosting a "grandparents shower" along with the ladies in our church for our minister and his wife, who are far from family and their soon-to-be new grandson. We are just going to put together some supplies for them to have a baby scrapbook, and we are having punch and cake, and are basically just celebrating with them. I say all of this to answer your question, maybe your mom doesn't feel like she has anyone to be happy with her. It can be hard if you are not close to a support group to have something happy happen in your life and not have anyone to share it with.
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Bluenpink
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2010 10:22
Maybe I'm missing something here, but several of the comments above reflect a lack of awareness of basic etiquette. First, having a shower is not manditory. Many, many moms don't have one. Second, like wedding showers, the mother of the mom-to-be shouldn't host it. Rather, a friend, aunt, cousin or someone close to the mom other than her mother should host.
The idea of a "silent shower" where the parents register and then tell their friends where to purchase a gift is really a major no-no. You don't tell your friends that they need to give you a gift and what it should be.
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