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confused
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# Posted: 19 Apr 2010 11:27
Please let me get my story out here. I have to start with some background information before I can get to the baby shower part. My fiance and I have been together for 8 years now. My friend who is pregnant now (happily married for almost 3 years) used to date my fiances best friend. They had a horrible break up, and both were very immature about it. At my engagement party in December, my "friend" made a HUGE issue out of my fiances best friend coming to the party, because her husband would be there, and she didnt want them at the same party. She basically went behind my back, called my Mother-in-law and told her that my fiance couldnt have his best friend at our engagement party. Anyway, I forgave her for that. A week after the engagement party, she told me that she didnt want to be friends anymore, because I would be talking to her ex (my fiances best friend) now, and he would be coming to my house and what not. I told her that was fine by me, and we stopped talking for about 8 weeks. A few weeks ago, she called me telling me she misses me, and wants to be friends again. So like a naive idiot, I said ok, and let things get back to normal right away. She then started talking about a baby shower for herself, and how no one else had offered to throw her one. Stupidly I told her I would host one for her (forgetting the huge issues she made about the bridal shower I threw her - she basically told me it wasnt as fun as other showers she had been too). Anyway, I emailed a few of her friends, asking for help, as I cant afford this party she wants on my own (I have my own wedding to save for), and not one person has responded to the email (its been 2 weeks now). She expects way too much from everyone, but she never gives anything in return. My fiance told me that she only called me again, because she knew no one else would give in and throw her a shower, but that Im too nice, and she knew she could sucker me into it. Now, I am stuck holding this shower on my own. And I dont know what to do. Monetarily speaking, I can afford it, but I dont know if I want to spend all this money on someone I know wont appreciate any of it, and will probably just cause issues around my wedding like she did at my engagement party. Im so confused, please help!
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Anonymous
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# Posted: 22 Apr 2010 10:30
Someone tell me how can a grandmother-to-be for the second time lavish everything and did nothing for the first grandchild. I mean not even be there for the birth, and not even there to give her daughter support. She is just making herself look good as this second child is from a different father and the family doesn't know who she really is. A liar and steps on anyone in her way.
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caring
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# Posted: 4 May 2010 13:47
confused
A true friend would never ever put you in financial hardship or put her desires and feelings before yours. Blended families deal with uncomfortable situations every day and make the best of it, putting their feelings aside, for the benefit of those they love. It's called making a sacrifice not being selfish. As you get married and begin your own family, ask yourself, What kind of people do I want around me, my husband and my future children? Some people build us up and support us while other tear us down. Let this girl know that you can't afford to pay for the shower, but you are willing to host it at your house and HELP her with cooking and planning. If she gets mad, then you know that she is an unhealthy person to keep in your life. It's ok to walk away from an unhealthy person and wish them well. I still pray for a girlfriend from my past who was unhealthy for me and my family. I don't hate her, but I recognize that we just can't be friends. You are about to begin a new and exciting chapter in your life...let it begin in peace. I wish you and your family the best. Good luck!
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Anonymous
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# Posted: 7 May 2010 15:05
I THINK YOU NEED TO THINK OF YOUR FUTURE. IS GOING TO BE A BLESSING FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY OR IS SHE WILL ONLY WANT HER WAY? DO WANT THAT TO ENTER YOUR HOME? I HAVE LEARNED IN LIFE THAT WHAT EVER HELP I GIVE OTHER HAS TO COME FROM MY HEART AND AT THE SAME TIME BRING ME PEACE. IF YOU DO ANYTHING UNHAPPY AND DOES MAKE BRING YOU PLEASURE IS BEST NOT TO DO IT.
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Anonymous
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# Posted: 16 May 2010 18:43
thank you for your advice. I let her know that I couldnt afford to do the shower on my own, and she told me she had no issue with spliting the costs, and helping with the planning. the only issue I am having now, is that she is getting really involved in every step, and wants to change everything that I had originally planned before. I know its her shower, and she is paying for part of it, but I just feel she doesnt appreciate anything I have done for her. When I say she wants to change everything, she literally is changing everything....I had ordered a cake that went with the theme, and she asked me to cancel it, as she wanted another design that has nothing to do with the theme (she said the cake seemed to childish - well it is a baby shower!!!). Then the games that I had planned out, she wanted those changed...even though before we started the planning she said she didnt want typical baby shower games. Now all the games she wants are the games you see at EVERY baby shower. I had picked out very reasonably priced guest favours, and she went ahead and changed that to something that is going to cost almost $300!!!! There are over 100 people coming to the party, and to be honest with you, I think she has just invited random people just to say she had so many people at her shower. Every time my phone rings and I see her number, I dread picking it up....I dont know what I got myself into!
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yeli
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# Posted: 20 Jun 2010 18:09
i want to know how did it end??? was the party a success?? did she drive u crazy?? or has it yet to happen?? ppl can be so ruthless.... someone like that would drive me crazy.. good luck to u!!!
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Anonymous
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# Posted: 29 Jun 2010 13:52 - Edited by: Admin
I want to know too! She seems like a selfish, immature, controlling girl who needs a good role model... but I guess it's too late for that. I completely agree with "Caring" and what she said about it's okay to walk away from an unhealthy person. She's only poison to you. I mean, who needs all that drama in their life? Believe me, when I got rid of all the drama in my life, things got much more peaceful and enjoyable. It's all in your control; don't let her influence your feelings.
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